Figuring Out

Okay, for those of who don’t know about it, I am doing an intern at Avanti fellows this summer. I actually love it there. I had never known such amazing people with so many experiences to share. The question I have always feared is what do you want from life? What do you want to do ahead?

Its answer is not a mystery to anyone. I don’t know – is what most people tell you. For me,  I don’t even know why I decided to be an engineer. Here’s what happened-

Ever since age of 8, I had wanted to be an astronaut. I wanted to travel in space, even had a keen interest in astronomy. My mom told me that NASA recruits from some institute called IIT in class 8th. I was good at PCM in school, so taking non-med after 10th seemed to be an obvious choice. As time and preparation went deeper, I completely forgot about why I had started studying for JEE in the first place.

What I don’t want to happen with me is to realise one day that I have been busy climbing the summit of an entirely wrong peak.  What can be worse than the fact that the goals you wished for were futile and useless? Not for your taste? What would you be left with then?

Today when this discussion was going on in the office, nearly everyone including those 4-5 years older than me was at the same stage – experimentation and figuring out what is the best for them. Then someone asked me- What do you want to do that would cause change for the better. I stayed silent. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything.

Where do I start? What do I say? How about – I am that sort of a person who feels that one vote doesn’t make a difference,  who still has no clear idea about difference between Lok Sabha and Rajya Sabha to be completely honest with you. Like I care. Ameya was right that day when he asked me what social work would you like to do and the only work I could come up with was teaching children. He told me that the matter with me was that I was ready to give my effort to things that have a direct impact and the things that have an indirect impact seem irrelevant to me (voting for example). Agreed in totality!

So, here I am at Avanti doing what I said I would. It’s a good way to start figuring out what works for me I guess.

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