Take your index finger and hold it upright in front of your eyes but look past it; at whatever is in front of you. Okay? Now bring your focus at that finger as you fade away the background. Keep oscillating your focus between the finger and the background as many times as you possibly can.
And you’re feeling pretty much how I’ve been feeling for the past few months now. I have this picture in my head that I can’t erase out and so I do my best to keep it consistently blurred and focus on other things instead. But it boomerangs back into my mind every now and then; fading everything else, before I forcefully blur it again. And the cycle continues.
I never talk about this with anyone because I’ve realized over time that talking about our problems does nothing apart from further magnifying them for us. And I really don’t understand how telling other people about them can help.
And yet in this very moment, I’m finding it extremely hard not to talk about this picture that I have and trust me: I’m exactly 2 seconds away from smearing this editor with all it’s excruciating details. But I don’t wanna act compulsively and put something down here that I regret later. And that’s the problem with personal writing on a public blog.